Starting new is intimidating.

We moved about a week ago. After couch surfing for a year and 6 months, the reality still hasn't hit. We're starting over new. Meaning all we own is what we could shove into our suit cases and fly back with us. It's really intimidating looking at an empty apartment and realizing there's so much we need to buy. I'm not good at spending money, I hate it. It's needlessly stressing me out. It feels amazing having our own place and the apartment complex is really unique. It's a community, not some building.

Lets Try this again.... Food P0rn- Raw Stuffed Mushroom caps

I tried the whole, 356 days thing but it didn't work out well. I guess starting that while I was couch surfing was asking for failure. I need my own place to let the creativity flow. So, lets try it again. I'm starting this attempt off with food porn. I have a strong love of cooking and will find any excuse to play around in the kitchen. Due to my expanding waistline (damn you standard american diet) my focus is on health and ideally raw foods. So, here's my latest attempt after months of staying out of the kitchen. Mushroom caps stuffed with hummus (not raw but can be made raw if you wish), sun dried tomatos, onions and raw pumpkin seeds. It's been seasoned with hand torn fresh basil, a touch of sea salt, diced garlic, evoo and lime juice. Ideally I'd prefer to heat it up in my dehydrator but the caps are too tall, so I set my oven to the lowest possible setting and cracked the door a bit. Even my meat lover boyfriend really enjoyed these.

Broken Update

The thick black line is exactly where the break is. I also found the illustration to be rather neat. Turns out it IS a break. A very long break caused by one twisting their ankle. I was very impressed with the clinic I went to (a low cost one in Sherman Oaks). The doctors were very kind and pestered me about the skin problems I have. They also answered my questions about my life long knee problems. At the least, I believe I may have found the next doctor to go to regarding my life long quest of getting some answers about my chronic knee pain. The man that put the cast on had some very interesting questions regarding that and a take that I've never encountered yet.

This issue is sapping me of all of my energy. I've been sleeping 15+ hours a day and I still feel exhausted. It's rather like getting over a very bad cold.

It's been a full week since the break and I still can't walk. It hurts far too much. My foot is black and blue and swollen now and at the end of the day the ball of my foot hurts so badly I actually need to reach for pain killers. I'm keeping it elevated all of today to see if this solves that problem....

Which means I should get off this computer since I've exhausted my work hunt for the day. Bummer....

I'm freaking brilliant....

While visiting with a friend a few days back, I managed to step wrong and, as it turns out, I fractured my fibula. I was hoping it was simply a very bad sprain but as the pain levels caused me to spend most of yesterday passed out or vomiting and I realized this morning they are only getting worse, I decided to go into the doctors. The x-rays showed a fractured Fibula above the ankle that's very close to being broken clean through. Awesome. That kind of thing takes some serious talent. :(

I'm going in for the cast in a few. Ugh. 6-8 weeks of crutches. Great. I really hate those things and my bad knee is already telling me how angry it is over this new set up.

Fear of the Unknown

A few nights ago I was playing around with lighting and my lack of a tripod. I was trying to capture a sense of depression, of worry and fear of the unknown. I guess I was just trying to express how I'm currently feeling. I feel this picture captured that atmosphere quite well.

New Years......

I won't lie, I'm glad to see 2007 come to a close. We went to the first official house party since we've moved out of LA. For once I enjoyed myself regardless of slipping into a period of serious shyness. I don't get nervous when I get shy anymore, I guess I've made peace with this aspect of my personality. I just tend to keep to myself and observe those around me. I guess it gives people the wrong ideas but whatever. Met some new people, geeked out on the Wii. I didn't get photos as my batteries were given to the Wii gods. Playing Wario Ware with 10 people is actually a blast. It was a worthy sacrifice as we were rewarded with many laughs and livening up the party.

I may not have reached my goal of NY yet, but I do know that I will be happy in Providence. It isn't failure, it's simply a detour. Now is the scramble to find a "normal" job. God I was hoping I'd avoid that artistic stereotype.

Christmas was well, tolerable given our visitor. I have about $200 in holiday money to spend. I already dropped a mere $30 on my favorite mineral makeup. I'm thinking of spending the rest on MAC and maybe some fabric and patterns for new clothing. I really have no desire to make clothing as I'm at my heaviest (which isn't bad, I'm still several sizes under the average womans size) but, maybe if I make some sexy clothing to highlight my hourglass figure I MIGHT feel better about myself.

My 3rd year anniversary with the boy is also coming up in about a month. I don't know what to do, but I'm thinking I'll throw together a really sexy outfit for the day. :) He hates lingerie, much prefers seeing me in a style that resembles a retro librarian/secretary. So I'm thinking a wool pencil skirt with corset and white button up top highlighting my cleavage, paired with seamed fishnets and retro pumps would floor him. Top that off with smoky eyes, glossy pink lips and a bun. I think he'd really like it. :)