Stress has been piling on due to circumstances that are really beyond my control. It's hard for me to cope with but I've learned over the years to roll with the punches and hope for the best. Keep focusing in on the positive life has to offer rather than fixating on the negative. I'm trying to find healthy ways to cope. Creative outlets. Working out whenever I can and keeping active. Although burning this nervous energy off at my gym would be far more productive, finances are stretched thin so we're conserving gas. It's more important that I get to school to sort out loans than it is that I go to the gym right now.
I've been pushing for a lot more commissions, keeping up with my current clients, taking on small projects for friends to keep busy. I need to stay active and keep the creative juices flowing or I will go insane. I have a sewing project that will be finished in about 2 days time plus a knitting project that I've been doing while watching shows with the boy. I still need to get my Etsy shop up and running.
Thankfully school is starting up in mid-February so I'll be kept busy with that. I'm taking Web Development I and a graphics class that's pretty pointless but required. I've been working with Photoshop for 12 years now. I don't really need a beginning photoshop class. But it'll keep me busy (which I need) and it'll be a good refresher course. I've heard students complain about the amount of homework but having worked in fashion for the past 4 years, my production time has gotten pretty fast. Plus I highly doubt it'll be near the amount of work my theatre costume courses assigned me. It will feel good to be back in class again.
I'm still scrambling for a stable job. Part time, even full time as long as they understand I'll likely have night classes I need to attend. I can't stand relying on unemployment. My main concern is my job screwing up any aid I have from school. If that's removed due to a job that still pays just enough for me to get by, I won't be able to afford school on my own. I need out of fashion design and the only way I can see successfully escaping that industry and still securing a good future is by going back to college. I don't really see that industry bouncing back for years anyway.
My anniversary came and went without so much as a nod of acknowledgement. We couldn't afford to do anything, as usual. At least I have someone that I love, that treats me well, to celebrate with, right? We plan to do something, it will just be later on when funds allow.
